Lent

Since Advent, I've been reading a chapter of Thomas à Kempis' Imitation of Christ as a part of my daily spiritual readings and devotions. It is packed with insights on living a holy life, as well as plain and clear moments of the Spirit speaking and convicting me. The chapter I read for Ash Wednesday was one such reading:

Having Confidence in God When Harsh Words Assail Us

Christ:
Son, stand firm and trust in Me; for what are words but words: they fly through the air, but hurt not a stone. If thou art guilty think that thou wilt willingly amend thyself. If thy conscience accuse thee not, think that thou wilt willingly suffer this for God's sake. It is a small matter that thou shouldst sometimes bear with words, if thou hast not as yet courage to endure hard stripes. And why do such small things go to thy heart, but because thou art yet carnal, and regardest men more than thou ought! For it is because thou art afraid of being despised that thou art not willing to be reprehended for thy faults, and seekest to shelter thyself in excuses.

But look better into thyself and thou shalt find that the world is still living in thee, and a vain desire for pleasing men. For when thou art unwilling to be humbled and confounded for thy defects, it is plain indeed that thou art not truly humble, nor truly dead to the world, nor the world crucified to thee. But give ear to My word, and thou shalt not value ten thousand words of men. Behold, if all should be said against thee which the malice of men can invent what hurt could it do thee if thou wouldst let it pass, and make no account of it? Could it even so much as pluck one hair from thee?

But he who has not his heart within, nor God before his eyes, is easily moved with a word of censure. Whereas he that trusts in Me, and desires not to stand by his own judgement, will be free from the fear of men. For I am the judge and the discerner of all secrets, I know how the matter passeth; I know both him that offers the injury, and him that suffers it. From Me this world went forth: by My permission it happened, that out of many hearts thoughts may be revealed. I shall judge the guilty and the innocent, but by a secret judgement I would beforehand try them both.

The testimony of men oftentimes deceives; My judgement is true, it shall stand and not be overthrown. It is hidden for the most part, and to few laid open in everything; yet it never errs, nor can it err, even though to the eyes of the unwise it seems not right. To Me, therefore, must thou run in every judgement and not depend upon thy own will. For the just man will not be troubled whatever happens to him from God. And if anything be wrongfully pronounced against him he will not much care. Neither will he vainly rejoice if by others he be reasonably excused. For he considers that I am He Who searcheth the heart and the reins; Who judgeth not according to the face, nor according to human appearance. For oftentimes that is found culpable in My eyes which in the judgement of men is esteemed commendable.

Disciple:
O Lord God, the just Judge, strong and patient, Who knowest the frailty and perverseness of men, be Thou my strength and all my confidence, for my own conscience suffices me not. Thou knowest that which I know not, and therefore in every reprehension I ought to humble myself, and bear it with meekness. Pardon me, I beseech Thee, in Thy mercy, as often as I have not done thus, and give me again the grace to suffer still more. For better to me is Thy plenteous mercy for the obtaining of pardon, than the justice which I imagine in myself for the defence of my hidden conscience. Although my conscience accuse me not, yet I cannot hereby justify myself; for setting Thy mercy aside, in Thy sight no man living shall by justified. --Book 3, Chapter 46

Too often I've given too much thought and regard to what others say of me (both good and ill). On the one hand, I've been criticised and attacked for my faith and zeal, while on the other I've been complimented and lauded for my faith, my writing, my intellect, etc. And now, as I look for a job, I have competing voices from all sides telling me "be this, do that, you'd be good at..."

Through it all, I've risen in pride, and sunken in despair. I've lashed out in anger at offended pride, and secretly nourished the flattery I've received in my own heart. Truly, as Christ told Brother Thomas, the world has not been fully crucified to me.

About something quite different, Albert Einstein once said, "All I want to know are God's thoughts. The rest are just details." Yet the sentiment applies to me.

What am I giving up for Lent? My pride. Hopefully after 40 days, I won't pick it back up again.

God bless,
Gregory

A Portrait of Me

Not a self-portrait, though. This awesome drawing was done by Jordan Ogilvie, a grade 6 student at one of the schools that I visited as the Youth Minister. He gave it to me as a going-away gift.

There's me in my brown jacket, with the famous (or infamous) Get Holy or Die Tryin' t-shirt, a Bible, my spikey hair, and even facial scruff! That's one observant and talented kid!

Yes, I'm still around...

Hello to all those who (used to) faithfully read Grace for the Wayward Heart. I'm sorry I haven't been around that much lately.

This blog originally was started in order to chronicle the talks, events, and other announcements that I gave as the Youth Minister of St. Andrew's Parish, in Oakville. However, as of December 31st, I have not been the youth minister there anymore. The church decided not to renew my contract for various reasons.

As such, I am currently unemployed. Because of this, most of my time has been spent in the pursuit of new work, and not in blogging. Once I have a new job, my blogging will resume in some form, both here and at The Barque of Peter, my Catholic Apologetics blog. That blog has a much more distinctive "polemical" feel to it--meaning that the posts there are thorough defences of Catholic practice and theology against attacks on it from other groups--be they Protestants, Mormons, Muslims, Atheists, or whathaveyou. Now, that sort of thing is not everyone's cup of tea. They prefer a more reflective, devotional, and encouraging message, to help inspire them to greater devotion to Christ and His Church. And that's what I intend to make Grace for the Wayward Heart into.

Noted, that won't be much of a transition, since most of the posts here were of that sort anyway. The main differences will most likely be 1) it will be less specifically geared to the youth group (though, by that I mean simply I hope it will appeal to more people rather than less, so any readers from the St. Andrew's YG, don't take off, either), and 2) it will be a bit more personal. I won't feel that a personal comment about something, or an anecdote from my life, or perhaps a rant about something that bothers me, or a more light-hearted quiz or meme (such as the Dante's Inferno Hell Test just before this post) is out of place here because of a pre-set agenda.

So what's the plan for the immediate future? Once I find a job, I'll post the leftover martyr talks that I'd given at St. Andrew's schools (St. Thomas More, St. Jeanne D'Arc, and St. Charles Lwanga and Companions), and then we'll see from there. I want to eventually post up here the other Bible Studies that I'd led at St. Andrew's in a similar format to the Revelation Bible Study already posted here (The Gospel of St. John, Paul's Letter to the Philippians, and the Old Testament book of Tobit), and then eventually, to host here Bible Studies of all the books of the Bible :) but that's getting ambitious and far-off. I'll also post here the talk on having a Personal Relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit that I'll be giving at the Alpha Program's Holy Spirit Weekend Retreat at St. Marguerite D'Youville in Brampton, on Friday, March 2nd.

It's Lent now, and I still haven't decided what to give up. I'd love to say, "I gave up Unemployment for Lent" but that's slightly out of my control. St. Joseph the Worker, pray for me. So we'll see.

Anyway, that's my update for you all. Please pray for me as I try to sort out God's Will for my future.
God bless you all,
Gregory

The Dante's Inferno Hell Test...

I saw this at a couple friends' blogs, and thought I'd do it too. It's actually a pretty cool test, and the book-related descriptions are pretty accurate.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I made it to Purgatory. Where did you think I'd end up?! ;)
Let me know where you're going!

And hey, since Lent has begun, maybe the Inferno test will be a good Litmus test for what you need to focus on this penitent season.

God bless
Gregory