Saint Doubting Thomas

Over the next several weeks, the grade nine classes of St. Thomas Aquinas are having retreats here at St. Andrew's Church, to help get the freshmen off to a great spiritual start to their high school careers. I was asked to be a part of the retreat, and as the theme was how Jesus meets us in the challenges of high school, and overcomes them, I thought I'd offer a meditation on one of my heroes of faith, St. Thomas the Apostle.

I want to read a passage of Scripture to you, about a fairly famous fellow in the Bible, though, sometimes not one with the greatest of reputations. He's one of my heroes though, particularly because of this story--and I think his story will provide some encouragement for you as well, as you begin your journey through high school. But you'll see what I mean.

John 20:19-29

In the evening of that same day, the first day of the week, the doors were closed in the room where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them. He said to them, 'Peace be with you,' and, after saying this, He showed them His hands and His side. The disciples were filled with joy at seeing the Lord, and He said to them again, 'Peace be with you.

'As the Father has sent Me,
so I am sending you.'

After saying this He breathed on them and said:

'Receive the Holy Spirit.
If you forgive anyone's sins,
they are forgiven;
if you retain anyone's sins,
they are retained.'

Thomas, called the Twin, who was one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, 'We have seen the Lord,' but he answered, 'Unless I see the holes that the nails made in His hands and can put my finger into the holes they made, and unless I can put my hand into His side, I refuse to believe.' Eight days later the disciples were in the house again and Thomas was with them. The doors were closed, but Jesus came in and stood among them. 'Peace be with you,' He said. Then He spoke to Thomas, 'Put your finger here; look, here are My hands. Give Me your hand; put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving any more but believe.' Thomas replied, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him:

'You believe because you can see Me.
Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.'

I love St. Thomas the Apostle. I have to say, he's definitely one of my favourite disciples of Jesus (if I had to rank them, I'd put him probably at number 2, behind John). He is definitely one of my heroes of faith. Hold up, what? A hero of your faith?! We are talkin' about Doubting Thomas, right? Like, the one that doubted. How can he be a hero of faith?! Yes, Doubting Thomas is one of my heroes. He's gotten a bit of a bad rap throughout history. He's that poor excuse for an Apostle. "That's the doubter!" "He didn't have faith!" "He had to see to believe!" "What kinda weak, wishy-washy, lameoid disciple is that?!"

See, I like Doubting Thomas 'cause he's real. He's human, like me. Here's a guy who spent the last three years of his life following Jesus around, firmly believing that Jesus is this big ol' Messiah come to save the world. He's the greatest guy who ever lived. He's travellin' around, preaching about God and His Kingdom, and healing people, doing all kinds of miracles, and really just blowing people away. Then things got nasty, and Jesus' wonderful preaching, healing, miracle-working Messiah-tour got cut short. He was arrested and then Crucified! Thomas' teacher, his best friend, his hero--and they killed Him!

So I figure Thomas is rather shaken up by all of this. His whole identity and sense of purpose just got pinned to a big nasty tree. He's probably wandering around in a depressed stupor, and totally misses the next three days. When he finally gets it together, he's probably thinking, "What the heck am I doing?! If they killed Jesus, they're probably comin' after me next! I gotta find the guys! Safety in numbers and all!" So he heads back to the Upper Room, seeing if maybe Peter or John are hanging around still. When they unlock the door, Thomas walks in on what seems to be some kinda crazy celebration, and he's like, "What on earth are you guys doing?! Jesus is dead, and you're partying! What's the matter with you?!" So Peter probably says, "Thomas! Guess what! He's alive! He was here!"

Now, if I was Thomas, here's what I would have said: "Are you off your nut? Pete, that is probably the sickest joke you could pull on someone!" I mean, seriously, if you knew my best friend had just died, and I came up to you excited as all get out, saying, "Dude! You're never gonna believe this! My best friend is alive! He just came to visit me today!" You're gonna be thinking I'm ready to check into the funny farm! You're gonna want proof. I mean, if you believed me, your picture would be beside "gullible" in the dictionary!

I think Thomas handled it pretty well, though. I mean, he didn't hit Peter or nothing. "Yeeeeaaaaah, ooookay. Petey, here's the deal. If I can put my fingers in the scars on his hands, and poke the hole in his side, I'll believe you." And so, Thomas goes down in history as the weak-faithed disciple.

But wait, that's not the end of the story! Eight days later, our buddy Thomas is still hanging out with the other disciples (because really, where else is he going to go?), and they're still insisting that they saw Jesus ('cause you just don't drop that kind of thing!).

So get this, they're all together in one room, the doors are shut, and the place is locked up tighter than Fort Knox for fear of the Jewish authorities, when BAM! Jesus is right there in the middle of the room! No doors open or nothing! I tend to picture the scene like this:

Peter: Tommy! I'm telling you, He was here!
Thomas: Look Pete, I said it before, and I'll say it again! Give it up!
Peter: Tom, I'm not.......
Awkward silence, wide eyed stares at something behind Thomas.
Voice: Peace be with you!
Thomas, jumping nearly out of his skin and spinning around: GAH! I mean, uh...GAH!
Jesus: Hey Tom, I can see you're having a little trouble with all this.
Thomas: Bluh...
Jesus: Look, here's My hands and My side. Don't be unbelieving anymore!

And Thomas, who was formerly doubting, drops to his knees and gives the greatest statement of who Jesus Christ is, in all of Scripture: "My Lord and my God!"

So I want to encourage you tonight. You're at a point in your life where doubts are coming at you, left, right and centre. Of all the things grabbing for your attention--popularity, sex, drugs, sports, teams, homework, and whatever else--very little will be encouraging you to actually seek Jesus, or give a rip about Church or religion. Most things that will come up in your high school life will actually seek to pull you away from your faith. But last year you were confirmed into your faith. You chose to stand up and be anointed, to say, yeah, I want that Jesus thing! But now, a year later, you're like, yeah. I'm an adult Christian. I got the oil of the Spirit...but I don't really feel all that different. What was the point? Was it all just kids stuff? "I can't be a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!"

But let me tell you, Jebus...I mean, Jesus believes in you! He loves you! He doesn't sit up in Heaven saying, "Oh oh, that kid's doubting again! Man I've had it with them! Pfft!" Rather, just like He did for Thomas, He's willing to do for you--to come down to your own level and meet you where you're at, if you simply ask Him! But if you hold on to your doubts, if you hide them inside, they'll fester inside you and eventually swallow you up. Jesus wants you to give them to Him. That's why He's given you your teachers, your chaplain, me, the priests at St. Andrew's, and the other wonderful and wise saints in your life. We're here to support you, not kick you when you're down! We aren't perfect. We each have our own doubts and struggles, too. Show me a person who never doubts his faith, and I'll show you a person who never thinks about his faith.

And ultimately, Jesus is right there with you. Don't be afraid to trust Him. He's a lot bigger than your doubts. He's a lot bigger than your problems! Give Him your doubts, and He'll give you a faith that's stronger than ever!

God bless.